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If only suicide wasn't a crime... or I mean, crime in heaven... I probably would've got a gun, or stock a lot of pills in my mouth and drink it all in one gulp, or hang myself... or buy a gun and shoot myself in the middle of the forehead..., or drink poison or acid... or let someone drive the car fast and hit me hard until there's no pain in my heart., or just bury me alive... suffocate myself...

If I only I didn't love God... or ever feared the lord... believe me, This very screwed up person who is writing this thing at this very moment, well... pretty much have done, well, not all but at least 2 of those suicide thing on top...

Though I did tried to kill myself once or twice... and my method of killing myself is not included on top.

well, first, I tried to jump out of the terrace.

--but then again, I didn't want people to see me as a bloody dead person...

so I tried another one... cutting my wrist...

--but then, like jumping off a high place... the one with the wrist can be pretty bloody too. Or should I say..... very bloody.

Anyway....

This blog... well, I guess the only person who knows this blog is myself... the very pathetic and Very screwed me....

Anyway... I'm not looking for symphaty or whatsoever... I just needed to rant all these so I can eventually get on with my life.... the life I thought would be perfect.... and is still hoping that someday.... that so called "perfect" life might someday be true... in my wish...

I know you people might think I am VERY LOW.... well, I don't care. I don't care what the hell YOU, my FAMILY, my FRIENDS, AND MY ENEMIES THINK...!!!!

If you dont have anything good to say... burn in hell!